© 2017 Michael Swickard, Ph.D. “Drive
carefully! Remember, it’s not only a car that can be recalled by its maker.”
Anonymous
We need self-driving cars and we
need them now. A generation of our kids are set to die and they may take a
bunch of us geezers and geezerettes with them. I am not kidding. We need
self-driving cars.
Why? A whole generation of our kids
are driving and texting constantly. Yes, I know it is against the law and so do
they. But they are addicted to texting and cannot stop.
Example: If you are at a stop light,
several cars do not move when the light turns green. The drivers are engrossed
in their online texting conversations: “You a poo-poo head. No, you a poo-poo
head. He’s a poo-poo head. She’s a poo-poo head. I hate you poo-poo heads.
On and on it goes with them happily flaming
each other and then being enraged by the flame backs. Meanwhile, I am listening
to a nice song on the radio and waiting for them to come back to driving which
may take a light or two depending on how many people they are calling poo-poo
heads.
Gee Michael, why don’t you engage
your horn? I was born in New Mexico and have spent much of my time in a
ranching environment. We blow our horns to warn of danger and not otherwise. I
don’t blow my horn to wave, chide someone or to announce I am in the driveway
waiting. I just do not do it.
So I sit peacefully until they come
back to consciousness in their car. Often, they look up and see that the light
has turned green so they drive through the yellow light or even the red. After
getting through the intersection they glance down to see someone has called
them a poo-poo head so they text while driving.
By golly, that behavior is
dangerous. And if you want to write the word “Stupid” on your forehead you can
spend some time telling them that they should not text and drive. They will do
until death, which is closer to them than if they are in a war zone.
This is why I want self-driving cars
and I want them now. It is the only thing that will save our youth. They could
spend the whole trip like they spend the rest of their time: you a poo-poo head.
No, you a poo-poo head. All these current people know how to do is to flame.
You cannot have a conversation with them because all they know is to flame
people.
I am not kidding. Every day there
are more tragic deaths because texting and smart phones are an addiction. It’s
amazing to watch a young person if my smart phone rings and I don’t answer it.
First they start sweating. Then they get restless leg syndrome. They can’t
stand that I am ignoring a call or text. When I get where I’m going I’ll check
it but not before.
If we put the vast resources of our
great country into having self-driving cars it will take a bit of trust that
the technology really works. But I see problems for the youngsters. First, it
will be programmed to go the speed limit and no more. Many youngsters have
never gone the speed limit. It will be a shock to them.
Next, it will be hard to do scummy
stuff like road rage. The self-driving cars will ignore the command to cut
someone off or menace a car. The rage-addicted drivers will need sedation
because the programming will not allow those behaviors.
But now we can go down the road
eating nachos and drinking an adult beverage if we so desire. I don’t know
anyone who can drive and eat corn-on-the-cob. It takes two hands and then some.
The programming could even enforce seatbelt laws. Wow, think of how safe we
will all be.
Me, I would prefer to drive myself
since I have driven for fifty years without an accident or ticket. Partially,
it is because I am a calm driver and part just luck. But my luck would increase
if we put those texters into self-driving cars.
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