Late Night Jokes from Newsmax.com

The Tonight Show With Jay Leno It was 100 degrees in New York City. It was so hot, you know Solyndra, the solar company? They actually made money.
It was so hot, Attorney General Eric Holder was selling water guns to Mexican drug gangs.
According to federal reports filed yesterday, the Obama campaign spent more money than they raised in the month of May. They spent more money than they raised? Well, that's called being a Democrat.
Conan

Mitt Romney has accused President Obama of pandering to the Latino community. The president said he's too busy to comment because he's watching Telemundo and eating chalupas.

Today the Supreme Court ruled that TV networks can show momentary nudity. So, by popular demand, "The View" is now a radio show.
The Late Late Show With Craig Ferguson
There's a heat wave on the East Coast. In New York City right now, the heat is driving the bees crazy. This bee infestation is scary.
Experts say the most reliable way to make bees docile is surround them with huge billows of smoke. That's why Willie Nelson has never been stung by a bee.
Jimmy Kimmel Live!
The Euro Cup is going on in the Ukraine. Portugal beat the Czech Republic. It was the highest scoring match in soccer history, 1-0.
Late Night With Jimmy Fallon
A new report found that President Obama's campaign spent $6 million more than it raised last month. Which explains why his latest campaign ad ended with the phrase, "I'm Barack Obama and I'm selling some old CDs on Craigslist."
A new survey found that only 31 percent of Americans would want to sit next to Mitt Romney on a flight. Romney was so upset, he was like, "I don't understand. How would they get on my private jet?"

Late Night Jokes from Newsmax.com

Subcommittee Hearing Scheduled for Pearce Organ Mountains National Monument Bill

Steve Pearce

Washington D.C. - Yesterday, the House Subcommittee on National Parks, Forests and Public Lands announced that a hearing on HR 4334, the Organ Mountains National Monument Establishment Act, sponsored by Congressman Steve Pearce, will be held on June 28^th at 10 AM. “Next Thursday’s Subcommittee hearing will be a great opportunity to make the case that a national monument established through the legislative process in the Organ Mountains is the most desirable outcome for Dona Ana County,” Pearce said. “Local and national groups have endorsed this legislation, which strikes the right balance between conservation and economic growth. HR 4334 was drafted with significant public input from local ranchers, business owners, conservationists, sportsmen and other activists. It is the right solution to protect this natural treasure of Southern New Mexico.” On March 29, 2012, Congressman Pearce introduced HR 4334, which permanently protects the 58,000 acre Organ/Franklin Mountains Area of Critical Environmental Concern by turning it into a national monument. The bill protect existing water rights, ensures motorized vehicle access on existing roads, permanently withdraws the land from mineral exploration, and ensures that new roads will not be constructed without the consent of the Interior Secretary. Read More News New Mexico

Subcommittee Hearing Scheduled for Pearce Organ Mountains National Monument Bill

NM Higher Education Woeful Underperformers

KOAT - A new report says New Mexico colleges and universities are some of the most underperforming nationwide when it comes to students' success.
Competitive Workforce, a U.S. Chamber of Commerce affiliate, has named the state's two-year and four-year public institutions among the worst.
According to the national study, the state's 19 community colleges and six public universities received D and F grades for student access and academic performance. Read full story here: News New Mexico

NM Higher Education Woeful Underperformers

Media Coverage of Afghanistan Has Changed

Newsbusters - On June 13, the CBS Evening News devoted a story by David Martin to the Afghanistan death count reaching 2,000, as Martin interviewed a mother of a fallen Marine. CBS was alone. There was no story last week on the Afghanistan death “milestone” on ABC, NBC, the PBS NewsHour – or even on the MSNBC programs found in Nexis, including Rachel “Our Military’s In a Perilous Drift” Maddow.
But the networks were all more aggressive when the 2,000 mark arrived in Iraq on October 25, 2005.

The Big Three networks devoted 14 morning and evening news stories to the death toll from October 24 through the end of October, and another 24 anchor briefs or mentions. They used the number to spell “disaster for this White House.”
CBS offered five reports and ten additional briefs or mentions of the 2,000 figure. David Martin filed a sad story on the 2,000 mark in both wars, the only sign of consistency among the networks. (The 2012 Martin report aired in the last five minutes of the program and never included the word "Obama.") Read full story here: News New Mexico

Media Coverage of Afghanistan Has Changed

IMF's Lagarde to Germans: You Work So the Rest of Europe Can Borrow, Spend, and Vacation

Christine Lagarde

Christine Lagarde, the Frenchwoman who is now head of the International Monetary Fund has a plan to fix Europe. Knowing that the German people work longer hours and take far less time off for vacations than the French, Largarde is pressuring Germany to take the income Germans make and give it to others in Europe who insist on living a life of leisure.
According to the Guardian, though she made no mention of the woeful lack of work ethic that has plagued most of Southern Europe for decades, Lagarde warned that the euro is under "acute stress." She urged leaders, (meaning Germans) to channel their hard-earned money directly to struggling banks in work ethic-challenged nations rather than to their governments.

In the meantime, Italy's prime minister, Mario Monti, suggested dire consequences if next week's summit of EU leaders did not include decisive action. Again, decisive action being that hard working Germans should give the money they sacrificed to make, to other people in other nations who are too lazy to work and fend for themselves.
Apparently Lagarde thinks all seventeen eurozone nations should jointly issue debt, despite the fact only a handful are creditworthy. Largarde also wants to relax the condition that insolvent nations reduce borrowing and spending. "At the moment, the viability of the European monetary system is questioned," Lagarde said. When asked what Germany would think of her suggestion that they work while the rest of Europe plays, she answered: "We hope wisdom will prevail." Indeed.

IMF's Lagarde to Germans: You Work So the Rest of Europe Can Borrow, Spend, and Vacation

Courtesy of Conservative Daily News

     

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