Whew! Honey, we Americans just averted a disaster, a catastrophe, I mean a real nightmare. You oughta come in here and watch CNN with me. Can you imagine the absolute horror of a government shutdown? How did we ever manage to avoid such a looming threat when it looked like all hope was lost? I mean really, how did we finally summon the courage to avert this disaster?
Oh, I see. They are saying it right here. A compromise deal was reached by Democrats and Republicans. Hey they are putting some numbers on the screen. The compromise means we as a nation will continue to borrow $4 billion dollars every single day. Hey, wait a minute honey. Let's turn down the volume for a second. Hmmmmm. When I run my calculator that’s more than a $1,000 per month for every taxpayer and $2,000 for a taxpaying couple.
Hey! With that much for a monthly payment, why hell, we could pay off our credit cards pretty fast and then buy ourselves a brand new beautiful house and a new car too. So, honey, tell me, do you think we are going to get a new house and a new car from the government? No? So what you are saying to me is that this $2,000 per month on my calculator screen here is how much the government is already borrowing to give us what we are getting from it right now? Hmmmm.Well, anyway, I'm gonna turn the channel over to MSNBC and turn the volume back up. Man! I am so glad we averted that disaster and catastrophe of a government shutdown. MSNBC is right!
What could those racist Tea Party members possibly be thinking of? Why are they so obsessed with trying to change how resources are managed in Washington? I mean you know, to run the risk of a catastrophe like a government shut........hmmmmm, did I say the compromise means the government is going to keep borrowing $2,000 a month for every taxpaying couple in America? Well, whatever, honey we just need to keep staying informed by watching MSNBC and CNN and reading our newspaper every day. Otherwise, how would we have possibly known we really had a close one there. Whew! Well, OK babe. That's enough politics for the weekend. Let's go back to CNN. Hey! Look there. They still have that reporter over there in North Africa. Look, he's dodging sniper bullets and pointing at oil fields again. 
I sure hope our boys out there on those ships do good in Libya. Hey honey can you gimme the credit card? I'm out of cash till payday cause I had to fill up the van last night. You know it cost me $85 damned dollars just to fill it up? Do you know how long I have to work for $85? Ok thanks. I'll be back in a few. I am going to run down to the convenience store. Yea I gotta go back. Last night I forgot to stock up on some beer again and get some more lottery tickets. Hey! don't worry honey. I know the credit card is almost maxed out again. But I'll be applying for another card next week. When our new card gets here things will be just fine and we will avert our own catastrophe just like the government did. Just remember babe. This is America and some day real soon our ship will come in. You want me to get some potato chips for you?
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